I was having breakfast in my car, ready to go for my two hours shift at the hospice and felt a need to meditate. I will be going in soon enough, I told myself, not going with the urge.

I went in ten minutes later. I was in the kitchen when the urgency came to me, to pray. It was strong enough, I was all wired up, wanting to go immediately and sit down and meditate. I talked myself into taking it slow. I finished my work there.

The nurse directed me to a room, – the patient is actively dying. She knows I prefer to sit with those. I went in and found her son was there. Her face was a death mask, completely pale. I have not seen one so pale.

I stood and talked to her son, loathed to leave. I told him from my mother, I know she might look in coma but her spirit could be all over the place. Her son told me, he believes it and she likely has seen his father etc. I told him, it helps sometimes to tell them they could go. His son told me, both he and his brother had done that and still she lingers. I told him she could be afraid.
And from books I read on NDE, the other side is very peaceful and nice. I took my leave and sat with another patient. But my mind, heart and soul was with that dying woman.

I started praying for her. In my mind, I saw, I could have asked her son if I could sit with her. I saw myself taking her hand and sit meditating. I told Jesus, if he wants to, he could make it happen. It would require someone to come into the room and I could leave. To just leave and go to that dying patient was something I did not feel good doing. Too loud.

After half an hour, the nurse came in. I left and went to the dying patient. I did what I had envisioned. I asked the son if I could sit with her. He told me he would not mind it at all. I sat, took her arm gently in mine and started meditating. I felt it, that bliss. I like to believe that is where she was going or was at. 20 mins later, I felt it was okay to leave. I took my leave just as her other son came in. She died that day, I learned that, searching the obituary.

I am still learning what this is all about. With time and experience, I will get better at it. For instance, next time I experience that urge to pray, I will just tell God, I am praying for whoever was needing it there and then and continue my work at the kitchen. I usually get things done there and then I am through, I spent the rest of the two hours sitting with the dying.