All day today, I feel like something is happening yet nothing is happening. I stayed in meditation for half an hour. It was very good. It has been so long since I last felt pulled into inner silence.

It came to me during this holiday season that I like being a hermit. I like being alone, I like my own company. Alone with the Alone, I used to say when I was a nun. It is still that, Alone with the Alone, God.

Recently I noticed something. I would be worrying about something when all of a sudden, a light feeling of happiness would take over and I perk with life. It is like choosing to be happy every time. Yet it is not choosing to be happy, it is more like a joy inside.

Happiness and Joy, what is the difference? One is more superficial and does not last long, dissipating fast. But joy, Joy is long abiding. It is deep and goes deeper. Happiness and Joy. I never thought on them before, what they signify.

It would be like cleverness and intelligence. Clever is more superficial. A person is clever about doing something. Intelligence goes deeper, it is a sort of seeing, the mind seeing things, deep into nature of things. I will have to google that.