It was 1976, a poignant year for me. We had our retreat. The retreat priest told me, “God is giving you the prayer of quiet.”I was very disturbed, afraid of spiritual pride and strived to deny it. According to St. Teresa, God gives it to who he wants to and not everyone gets it. That night, I knelt in prayer before the tabernacle and asked God, “Are you give me the prayer of quiet?” I heard distinctly inside the words, “Not yet but I will.” With that peace came over.

Later, it came to me, it was correct, what I was receiving was the prayer of simplicity, where one sits in the presence of God, knows he is presence, thoughts might go in and out, it does not disturb that simple communing with God.When the prayer of quiet took over, it took over in a strange fashion. For days, I felt an inward pull. I fought it. I did not know how to respond to it. After three days, it took over me. I walked like in a stupor, my mind engaged by what I called The Dark Presence – God. Dark because I do not see anything but felt it.

I felt divorced from the surrounding around me, caught in that higher realm with God. I felt possessed by God. That was when I moved into prayer of the quiet.Today, I use meditation only. I do not try to decipher what kind of prayer I am engaged in.This period was very intense. Dark and intense.

After a month, the feeling lessened and then I was in dark night of the soul again. When I felt taken over by God, it as as though I was protected by a shield. All arrows aimed at me hit that shield and fell off, without the power to hurt me. When that period pass and I did not experience being with God that vividly, it was then I became vulnerable. Arrows aimed at me would hit me and it would hurt.After a year, the dark of the soul passed and with it came graces at prayer again. I felt transported to a land, white, bright, big and spacious. In that land, there was nothing but God and I. And that land is inside of me. Today, I can still go into at will. Different is when deep in meditation, I get elevated onto it. That to me is experiencing heaven on earth, a glimpse of heaven on earth.

Last year, volunteering with hospice, I experienced that land again. I was with a patient. He was in coma, dead to the world. I sat with him and meditated and felt myself entering that space. I knew then he was experiencing that wondrous land and I was experiencing it with him.Many who had NDE, near death experience, talk about being in the light, in a peaceful place. For me that is the place. That when we die, we go to a nice of peace and bliss.It is hard to get motivated to write. I tried writing in wordpress. It does not really work. I find in this Notes – I get motivated to write. Unfortunately, with the new FB, I cannot find means to write new notes and could only access the old hence I switch back to the old classic fb.