When I look inside me.

I see a darkness.

When I look at that darkness.

I am looking at God.

When did I first see that darkness.

It was 1976.

I was a nun at a Carmelite Monastery.

I felt unloved, rejected.

Not experiencing love outside.

I was forced to go inside.

And found God.

One day I felt a strong pull to go inside of me.

I resisted it for days,

Not knowing how to respond to it.

Finally, it pulled me in.

I walked, divorced from everything around me.

Occupied by that Force I know to be God.

After that, I would stay in meditation.

And experience that darkness.

Which I know to be God.

Because though dark,

I could feel that presence there.

I called it, the positive energy in the void.

God.