As I drove to the new client’s house, I decided I was not going to be nervous. The last one I went to, I was so nervous, I felt practically sick. The fact she was a good friend of my boss added to the nervousness. It put pressure on me to excel. On meeting her, most of my nervousness faded away. She did not need me the following day. I was not surprise and expected it but did experience a sense of regret. I am usually better second day than first and did not get the chance to prove it to her.

Hence, driving to this new client’s house, I decided I do not want to suffer that way any longer, apprehension, nervousness going to a new client hence new home. The instant I saw the client’s son, I felt better, his wife was charming, a truly engaging person. The client was a slight good looking woman who moved slowly. I had expected a sick old dying person, instead I saw a woman who looked exceptionally good and young for her age.

“Why am I getting this stranger thrust on me without warning?” she asked, not looking at me. Her son and wife very carefully explained it. I let them know I do not mind her hostility. Experiencing one recently, all I wanted to do was put a big distance between her and I. Not with this client, I wanted to slowly connect with her and sensed I would be able to .

The daughter-in-law asked her to look at me, a lovely woman. The client did not. However, once the daughter-in-law left, the client told me she was not being rude, that she is not able to turn her head to look at me and asked if I could sit in front of her. I did, making a point to say little and gauge the situation first. Her son and I sat while she eyed the pills. She wanted to die and did not want to take them. I looked at the pills and in play, suggested she start with the big one first to get them out of the way. After a while, she did. It still took her two hours to slowly take them. I continued looking at the pills and remarked. Not taking them might kill her or it might not. Taking them would alleviate whatever she is having hence why suffer? Death will come when it comes, until then, why suffer? Later, I found that remark struck a core with her son. I heard him sharing it with his wife.

Her son asked if I could stay longer. I did. I went two or three times after that. They placed her in an impatient unit, no longer needing us. The son asked me if I could visit her at the inpatient unit, adding he is willing to pay me for it. I told him I would get fired for that. It does not take much to figure out it is not a thing to be done – going behind the company to earn money on the side. He told me his mother is different with me around and he wants the best for her. I voiced my surprise. He told me I must know that, that his mother is different with me around. And added, I must know it when I entered this field of work. I knew she appreciated my presence and each time I left, expressed regret I was leaving and told me she will miss me. Unfailingly she would ask when she will see me next. However, I did not realize my presence made such a difference. Looking back, it did. I continued my game with the pills, she played along, taking them one by one, according to size or color, taking half an hour to finish taking them instead of two hours. She was eating more, finishing what was given her. The last day we were together, we sat in front of the house on the porch and watched the birds, the gecko coming to visit, the sun, the breeze blowing, she slept and I meditated. It was a lovely day, one I will always remember spending with her. As I left, it hit me with a sense of wonder; I am making a difference with the dying. I believe it is because I do not fear death and do see it as the beginning of a new life instead of the ending of a life. This in turn brings peace to them and the family members.