I must watched too many of those shows on MSNBC. It caused fear of burglars in me. For years now, I have a recurring nightmare, burglars breaking into the house.

Last night, I was tired and decided since I spent such an unconventional Christmas, no gifts to wrap or unwrap, I might as well not wait for the new year. I went to bed and soon after fell asleep. At midnight, I woke up, noise outside and no wind. I forgot it was New Years’ Eve, I tried to dismiss the noise. After a while I heard noises of someone trying to pry the door open. I lay there, frozen in fear, it cannot be happening but it is, someone is trying to break in.

I ran to the security system and could not see to push the button. I turned on the light and pushed the button for police. Not sure if it works, I grabbed my cellphone and ran to the bathroom to call 911. The phone is new and on contact, I could not get the keyboard to come up. I told myself to stay calm and not to panic and still could not do it. I have land line. I ran to the landline and could not see to dial. I dialed 911 and told the person someone is trying to break in.

I ran to hit in the closet when the phone rang. I went to listen to it. It was the dispatcher asking me where I am, what I could hear. After a while, nothing but fireworks. The door bell rang. Oh my God, they expect me to go out and opened the door? I must have expected police to come, guns drawn and break down the door and rescue me.

I turned on all the lights in the bedroom, ran out to open the door and triggered the security alarm. I could not find the key to open the security door and the alarm was loud. I ran to turn it off and forgot how when I remember, password. I got it turned off. But how could the key be missing? I ran to get a second pair and opened the door. 4 big cops entered. They checked everywhere and nothing. It was the fireworks causing vibration. They left. It took me a long time to fall asleep.

Though I know it not to be real, today I felt drained. I went for meditation. Coming back, I find though last night, it was not burglars, I nonetheless felt uneasy. I googled. It mentioned talking to neighbor. Of course, I went to knock on my neighbor’s door and told him about it. He has a dog, he told me he will keep an eye out for me.

Now I remember where I get that feeling of burglars. I was visiting my sister in Kuching. It was 5 am. I saw some young men climbing over a fence and froze. For some reason, something told me to keep quiet and not to draw attention to my sister’s house. I will leave in a few days’ time, if I make a noise and draw attention to my sister’s house, they might return and take revenge on her.

Someone else saw it and started screaming, thief thief. My brother-in-law grabbed something and went after them. They ran and made a clean escape. Later, another sister got on my case about not raising the alarm. I told them, I knew only I must not draw their attention to my sister’s house. That must be where I experienced that feeling.