I entered the room, the patient was in active dying, eyes not focusing with death rattle. I thought of my mother and choked. She had horrible death rattle and I was not there. It is one of my regret. She came back to life so many times, when she was really dying, we did not all rush back, the way we did in 1999 and then another two more times.

I sat and went into long distance reiki. She gets very agitated now and again. I felt very moved and found myself choking, tearing. I controlled it. I felt connected with her, strongly because she is crossing over.

Every time she gets agitated, I knew to put one hand on her shoulders, the other I let her grip my hand. I told her she is safe, she is ok, she is not alone etc. At such times, I know I am called to this work. Something taught me how to be with the dying.